The Fern Lady lives here….

The learning curve with gardening has been remarkable easy.  Okay wait.  That is a total lie.  For the last twenty five odd years since I have moved out of my mothers house I have killed every house plant within a 5 block radius.  It started with a fern in 1989 and it just went downhill from there.  I don’t have a hot fucking clue what I’m doing when it comes to plants.  It usually goes something like this….oh my god look at the gorgeous fern!  I’m totally going to take it home, it would look so nice in the living room.  THIS time I will totally remember it exists and water it and it will grow and I’ll take little off shoots and give them to my friends and I will be known as  The Fern Lady!   The demise of the fern usually starts off slowly. First I’m just picking up a couple of stray fronds that fall onto the carpet.   Then the vacuum comes out because there are fern remnants under the couch cushions.  Then a few weeks pass and I think, damn I don’t remember the last time I watered that thing.  Eventually there is a sad couple of brownish fronds in a large planter just hanging in the corner of my living room waving at me as I walk by  seemingly  begging to be put in the garbage so it can die with a last little bit of  dignity.  That is my life with plants.  Until now.

My potatoes are growing like crazy.  I have them all over the yard.  This big bin that Cowboy misappropriated is filled with banana fingerlings and is going gangbusters.


One of the bins that I have potatoes in is also going nuts.  Something tells me tere is going to be a LOT of potatoes in the pantry this winter!  Potato soup anyone?




As stated before and proven by many a fern I haven’t grown anything successfully before so these pumpkins are a huge deal for me.  I mean PUMPKINS?  Come ON!



I also have a Penis pepper.  I’ve lost the tag saying what kind this is and since there is just one growing and it looks like, well a penis, that it’s new name.



I cut down about a quarter of my rhubarb plant this morning.  I’m pretty sure I’m going to have WAY too much again this year but since Cowboy is in the pie making mood lately I’m getting some ready for when he gets home.





Here is today’s haul.  I’ll be pulling and cutting the rest of it by the weekend.  I will have some VERY happy friends.


The Fern Lady has finally found her niche.



  1. Okay so I am reading and I am agreeing like yea I do the same thing I totally kill all the plants…THEN you got fancy with the names and I’m like well no I would have just been like the leaf thingy so I’m like totally impressed you know the names. As I read penis pepper I’m like what the what that’s a thing?!?!? But it’s not you just made it up which has me for real cracking up! I have also never had rhubarb anything because it’s sounds terrifying and that’s really ridiculous….I am going to have to try some and let you know how it went 🙂

      • admin on June 24, 2014 at 5:43 pm

      Admittedly I may have a hard time eating the Penis Pepper. Once I’ve named something I become sort of attached.

    • Corrine Adams on June 24, 2014 at 12:48 pm

    Well done!! I kill ALL THE PLANTS! 🙁

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