So I’m not big on resolutions. Every year I make the same one, drink more wine and buy more yarn. Every year I make it true. I’m a yarn hoarding alcoholic at this point so it’s all good. BUT I do believe in setting intentions for the year. Last year was the year of change. And boy did I do that! In one year I moved from the city I called home most of my adult life (stop i’m 30 minutes south but it’s still a big move!), I left my cheating lying douchebag of an ex (clearly still bitter, I get that) AND I quit smoking after 27 years! That last one is a big one. I have only successful (grain of salt) quit while pregnant. It’s no big deal I didn’t get all healthy and declare “MY babies will have a smoke free womb!”, no i puke my way through 9 months of pregnancy unable to get out of bed and light a cigarette if I wanted to. Shortly after the nursing of the children I would start up again. I blame a certain birthday girl (Happy Birthday you old bat) for many of my downfalls as a child this one included but the fact of the matter is I LOVE TO SMOKE. I wasn’t sitting there ringing my hands wishing I could quit, nope, loved it. But I am not an idiot, I realize the health risks of smoking and as i was getting older and SINGLE (again, yes still bitter) I knew I had to at least try to tackle this one last vise. To all you currently rolling your eyes and asking out loud to your computer WHAT ABOUT THE COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF RED WINE? That is NOT a vise. I drink red wine for my health. Piss off. I also started working out again and started a new career. So 2012 after my grand declaration of The Year of Change was just that…and now for 2013? What does the Year of Awesome mean? To me it means this is the year I stop being bitter about the ex. I’m going to work really hard at leaving it to karma. It’s not my business how this dude sleeps at night. The fact is that maybe he is completely fine with what he’s done and you know what, I need to let it go. It’s been 1.5 years since I found out and that is long enough to be ‘in shock’. i miss judged someone. I need to forgive myself for that. I’m not someone who can hold back, I’m a romantic. I love with complete trust and if that means I got screwed well so be it. I’m not changing who I am. What I will change is who I allow to be in my life. I have taken 43 years to learn to love myself I can’t allow that to be tossed aside ever again. So I’m going to live this year with love and forgiveness towards MYSELF! How awesome is THAT?!?!