Girls are bitches….

*inspired by my girl at Webb Chronicles…go give her a read.

Last night while sitting on my couch watching tv with my youngest I was listening to Miss Thing and her buddy chatting away while baking in the kitchen.  They were giggling and laughing and making caramel.  It was a great.  It was the opposite of some of the conversations I overhear between teenage girls.  They can be very catty.  I’ve often wondered why it is that girls are so damn judgemental of each other.   There is no problem stabbing another chick in the back.  You like this boy? Let me go sit on his lap.  Junior high girls have some serious game.    And they start is YOUNG.   There is some drama in kindergarten class y’all.   It almost seems like women come out as natural competitors.  But that can not be the case, can it?

Nope.  I think it’s a completely learned behaviour and I bet 90% of you think you’re not contributing to this behaviour.  You are.  Sorry but you are, and worse yet you think that you’re not so there’s no ability to check yourself. Want to know if you are here’s a quick test. Bottle vs. Breast.  Work outside the home vs. Stay at home Mom.  Circ vs. Non Circ.  Vax vs. non Vax.  Pro choice vs. Pro Life.    Whatever side you’re on the ability to support another woman on the other side seems almost non existent.  We beat up the woman on the other side like she doesn’t have two brain cells to rub together.  How COULD she feel that way?  Oh my god, I would NEVER do that?  Clearly she doesn’t love her husband/partner/children/job/life as much as I do!  We attack and demean the woman for her choices.  The VERY choices all the women before us fought to give us. I don’t think this is what Susan B. Anthony meant at all! I think those suffrage women were like “Come on girls!  We are sisters and strong and in this together!”  Maybe this is why we will never truly…..no fundamentally and to our very core be viewed as equal to men.  Not really, because the argument will always be that well if they can’t even support each other, why they hell should we support them.  I mean sure, we talk a good game.  Equal pay for Equal work!  Women are as good at X and a man…blah blah blah.  We may give it lip service but as a people I do not believe that we truly believe it.  So  want to divide women?  Just find out how they feel about abortion and point them at the group that feels the opposite way.  They will destroy each other.

When someone parents or lives different than me I don’t try to change them.  I assume that they are doing the best that they can.  Their choices are their own and they alone have to live with those choices.  Do I cringe on the inside sometimes?  Sure.  But  I make sure that I say that I support their ABILITY to make a choice that is good for them.  Because what we are saying when we attack another woman is that we don’t think she has the ability to make a good choice that works for her and her family.  We are saying that she hasn’t thought through the process and come to the best decision for HER.  A woman doesn’t need a doctor or a pastor to know if she is able to continue a pregnancy and raise or release a child.  A woman doesn’t need outside help on a decision to know if her passion is to be at home or work outside the home.   A few months ago two of my VERY close friends and I got into quite the in depth conversation about a parenting issue.  All three of us would handle very differently.  There were opinions flying all over the place, from one extreme to the next.  It was a healthy debate about parenting from three very different types of parents.  We were respectful and loud and hilarious through the whole thing.  At no time did any of us doubt the ability or intent of the other and in the end we didn’t change who we are or what we believed. What we did do is understand why others make decisions differently and we supported each other.  In the end we all made the best decision WE FELT for our own kids.  It was healthy, it was loving and it was mature.  If only we made sure to model that behaviour on a more consistent basis for our girls.  Cause ladies, we seem to be dropping the ball on that one….

Practise it with me “I support you in whatever decision you make.  I believe that as a strong, intelligent woman you have the tools to make a decision that is best for you”  Oh wait, go say that in the mirror a few times first.  That might be the best place to start.

tumblr_mcsof9gZK21rjf6suo1_500

One thought on “Girls are bitches….

  1. Ally, I so agree with you. Girls are the meanest creatures on earth, and try as we might, especially in the young teens, it’s really difficult to bust through the peer pressure of ‘being popular’ and being true to yourself. At that young age the only thing more important than themselves is their friends. Compassion and understanding need to be instilled at a young age and nurtured throughout by example. Good post.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>