Help the needy….

So I love my Cowboy.  He’s a rockstar in so many ways.  Our dryer broke the other day and before you could blink he had that son of a bitch in a million pieces, found the broken fuse thing a ma bob and had it up and running.  THAT my friends is dead sexy.  All my life I’ve gone for the intellectual conversationalist with a dry and witty sense of humor.  Turns out those guys can’t usually hold a screw driver without almost putting an eye out.  But a Cowboy truck driver who not only doesn’t care about the difference between there, their and they’re but will roll his eyes and say “darlin’ I can’t imagine why that matters even a little bit” when I go off on some spelling error as I’m reading facebook.    Yeah, that guy?  He’ll  jump on the roof and fix all that is broken in your house without breaking a sweat.   Now maybe that’s a huge generalization but it’s what i’ve found in my short and varied experience with men.  I think men in the Olden Days used to be more well rounded.   They learnt how to do shit with their hands more.

However.

There is an area that my dear sweet man fall far short.  I think we all remember the mutton chop fiasco that was his attempt at beard growing.  No?  Well when I met dear Cowboy he was sporting what can only be described as an ‘unfortunate’ beard/mustache combo.  He also owns a collection of Harley Davidson t-shirts that is envied the world over.  Envied by whom I have no idea but that can be the only answer as the dude has HUNDREDS of them.  So the other day as I was looking at my beloved Cowboy as he stood at the door I was pretty happy.  There he stood with a collared flannel workshirt, a vest and long leather jacket.  He had on dark denim and a pair of black cowboy boots.  Topping off the outfit was a black cowboy hat.  He looked frickin’ gorgeous and I told him so.  His response?  Oh darlin’ I’ve always dressed like this!  Um what?  No.  No. No.  I DID THIS!  YOU were a cheap bugger who just bought anything in bulk that you thought looked ‘cowboyish’.   You saw nothing wrong with buying $10 light denim jeans at Walmart because they fit and were TEN DOLLARS.  I classed you up you crazy Cowboy.  Do not make me go all crazy on your ass.  And by crazy I mean post proof positive on my blog so others can laugh and judge you from afar.

Here is what my sweet man looks like NOW after we had the conversation about how I don’t want to change him per se but that he needed to spend a little bit on his clothes so he didn’t look homeless.  This look makes me go weak in the kness and is likely to have me rippin’ a Cowboy’s clothes off before we can get out the door.

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This is the shirt he was trying to convince me was a dress up shirt that would be completely acceptable going out with me and my friends.

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This is (WAS) his FAVOURITE dress shirt.  And YES the horses go all the way around for maximum effect.  Oh and it’s short sleeved.  He had the decency to look at least a tad ashamed when he asked if this would work for a function we were attending.

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All that is wrong in the world can be described in this sweatshirt. What i’m not going to go to the mall with you while you wear a grey crew neck sweatshirt with a bull on it?  I’m as shocked as you are!

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So yes, he is dressing exactly as he did before we met, if by exactly you mean not at all.

2 thoughts on “Help the needy….

  1. oh my gosh, they are awful, aren’t they? My husband is the same. he will buy anything that fits and would still have stuff from the 80s if I hadn’t gotten rid of it. So you are by all means not alone in your predicament ;-)

  2. This made me laugh so much. I have had to fight with my husband to get rid of clothes he’s still got..from..the..EIGHTIES. He’s like “I may need that skinny time” and I”m all like “Uh, only if we’re going kinky and I’m pretty sure that doesn’t blow your dress up.”

    Sorry for over sharing! :D

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