Okay, I’ve always said “for the love of mike” I don’t know who mike is but I’m assuming he’s an asshole. Actually to be fair, I’ve never met a mike that I liked. well that’s not true, i’ve often liked a mike or two, but invaritably they turn into an asshole. probably shouldn’t mention I have a brother in law named mike. but i digress. i’m done. i’m done with hearing about celebrity offspring. PLEASE make it stop. I’m fine with entertainment shows and their frenzy but since when should i have to turn on CNN and hear about the latest and of course genetically superior baby born to some freaks that quite frankly i don’t give a rat’s ass about.
you want to here amazing birth stories. i gave birth to a kid with a 14 inch circumferance head on my living room floor with no drugs, no doctor, no stirrups, no ice chips. i gave birth with my husband and a midwife and a kiddie pool with fish on it. you wanna silent birth? my 12 year old slept through the whole thing and the only pain relief i had was a midwife who kept telling me how powerful i was. put that on your fucking CNN. combine my name with dh and talk about it on every damn news channel. i didn’t cost the tax payers one red cent. i didn’t hold small countries hostage for 300.000 bucks. and the next day i got up, and lived my frickin’ life. without pissing off anyone because of traffic or ridiculous statements about things i know nothing about and without having to issue any type of press release.